独男の雑記帳

コミュ障60歳独身男(結婚歴なし)の存在していた記録

jokes (下ネタ )

旧いPC内を探っていたら、ジョークをコピペしたファイルを見つけた。20年前使用していたPCだ。その頃も今と変わらずよくネットを見ていて、ジョークもよく見かけたが、たまたまその時はやり過ごすのではなく文書ファイルにコピペして保存したわけだ。この手のものはジョーク集で検索すれば見つかるし、実際ここに掲げるジョークもネット上に存在する。ネットに多数転がっているものを自分のブログ記事にするのは気がひけるが、昔のある一瞬、自分の気を引いたということでここに掲げておく。

 

以下、下ネタ注意。

2つ掲載。個人的には、1つ目は単純に可笑しい。2つ目はポイントはわかるが、相手を貶すことは自分は普段しないし、おもしろいと思うわけでもない。

こういうジョークもきちんと読めば英語の勉強になるという主旨で掲げるが、今後削除するかもしれない。

 

A man and woman were dating and he asked her to marry him. She told him to prove his love to her. She wanted him to get her name, Wendy, tattooed on his penis. When it was erect it said Wendy, and when it was limp it said Wy. They got married and went to Jamaica to a nude beach for their honeymoon. Wendy told her husband to go get them a drink, so he went to a stand on the beach and noticed the man who was waiting on him also has a Wy on his penis. He said “Oh, you must have a wife named Wendy, too!”, and the waiter said “No, mine says ‘Welcome to Jamaica man have a nice day!!!’”

 

wait on 給仕する

最後の文の man は「あなた」を意味する呼びかけの挿入語

= Welcome to Jamaica, man, have a nice day!

 

もう1つ。

 

A husband and his wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed. So the man says to his wife "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill." She ignores the remark.

A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and measures the grill, then he goes over to his wife while she is bending over, measures her rear end and gasps, "Geez, it really IS as wide as the grill!" She ignores this remark as well.

Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken.”

 

yard work 庭仕事